DOOM Magazine Official Community's Journal
Tuesday, January 6, 2004
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Well well well, all of my lovely wonderful fans! It has been quite some time since we've updated the site, and we feel really awful about it! You see, the orcs and ogres around Diavolo Manor (DOOM HQ) have declared war on us. I don't really know why, something about indentured servitude, sweatshops, neglect, I don't know. I wasn't really listening. Anyways, we smashed them with the iron fist of justice long ago, but it's taking so damned long for Joe to clear away the bodies. I really do think he's been eating and/or having sex with them.
But worry not! The Lovely and Brilliant Darling of Darkness whose Beauty Illuminates the Shadows of Mundane Existence has got a few tricks up her frilly black satin brocade bell sleeves! Prepare yourselves for darkness unfathomable by humans, or even halflings for that matter! Oh ho ho ho ho!
Sunday, May 11, 2003
Happy Mother's Day, bitches! Today's the day we celebrate medically numbed twats, post partum depression, and most importantly- PLACENTA!
I'ma celebrate by figuring out who the father of all my children is- or at least I'll try and remember the names of all my children!
Thursday, May 8, 2003
8:08PM - Hello, fools!
Well, DOOM hasn't been updated in a while, but we haven't forgotten it... Everyone has been so busy lately... Antonius is currently without his computer, and with the summer underway early this year, he's been so busy trying to incorporate capri pants into his military uniforms, and hasn't had much time to update. (We can all relate to that!)
Meanwhile, I've been dealing with personal problems (such as stockpiling hair gel and ammunition for the coming revolution), and I've been working with my old friends down at Malebolge Labs trying to create a GREAT new natural disaster- massive tornados that ignite houses and induce breast cancer within a 1 mile radius of the touchdown point- However, we've been really caught up in beta testing!
As for our Diva, I can only assume that due to the changing temperatures, her makeup application is taking most of her time. I can't be certain, because she hasn't let anyone into her dressing room, but she does keep calling in refills on her FenFen, so one can only speculate.
And Joe is busy doing the musical superstar/superheroine thing now, as the new Jem. (Stay tuned for more Tales of Joe updates). If you'd like to have sex with him, his AIM name is Wild Eyez 00 (please, no freaks)
Anyway, in the meantime, feel free to take the quiz again and masturbate freely to DOOM Magazine. We'll be back at it soon enough (when we said we run on a strictly whenever-the-hell-we-feel-like-it schedule, we fucking meant it. Now stop guilting me.)
Saturday, April 12, 2003
2:33PM - HAH
on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!
|Take the test here!|
God, I've done everything short of eating the damn lab disection!
Thursday, March 20, 2003
Monday, October 15, 2001
You are The Diva of Destruction!
You are extremely vain and love nothing more than being lovely. You are an image of death, like a cold winter's day. As your name implies, you tend to have a bit of an ego, and you like pushing people around with your powerful magical abilities and your alluring figure. Speaking of which, hey what IS that under your skirt, huh?
Tuesday, March 11, 2003
Well, I just wrote up 4 reviews and I'm going to attempt to get another article done tonight. Just thought I'd share that.
Monday, March 10, 2003
2:49PM - Welcome, fools!
Welcome to the official DOOM Magazine Livejournal Community. This is the place to discuss DOOM articles, talk directly with the DOOM staff, share ideas, offer up suggestions and information, and other such rituals of absolute darkness. We'll keep you informed on DOOM updates, changes, and other things in this community, plus it will let you give us some of your ideas and thoughts.
1. No cross posting. We won't check each and every entry you make to assure you haven't, but if it looks like you have, then your post will be deleted. Cross posting is for sightless undersea creatures and flabby babies, and we will not tolerate it.
2. Keep your damn arguments in your own journals. No one wants to hear about that shit.
3. Community promotions? Hell no. There is a perfectly good community by the name of community_promo to do that in.
4. No having sex with Joe. It's really bad for your immune system.
5. If the Diva starts to push you around, let her. It's a lot easier for everyone else if you just humor her.
6. And finally, use your common sense, keep your MP up, and have a damned good time. Just don't come crying to us if you lose your soul.